Stemato - Stephen Tompkins Writes About Anything but Mostly Digital Marketing
Yesterday, I signed up for the Landmark forum and I am pretty excited to take it. I hope it as good as advertised. I don’t want to go into specifics but I really think this will be able to bring about the some major shifts in thought. I will report more on it after I take it next week.
Its 3 days of grueling coursework designed to change your views.
So hopefully when I am done I will come out Stemato 2.0! Who is ready for Stemato 2.0?
Change is good. Most people agree its great to change. We change Presidents every four years, we eat different foods and watch different shows but when it comes to change in yourself it seems everyone is a naysayer. I have recently embarked on a path that is changing me daily to become a better person. I am quite happy with my progress this far but realize there is a long way to go.
The frustrating thing to me though is when folks say “you’ll never change,” “you are who you are,” and worse “you can’t change.” Its not only demoralizing to me its harmful to that person. Let’s face it, we all need to change something and change is not easy when it comes to oneself. By saying to others they can’t change its easier to accept the stagnation within.
I have recently learned from hearing that one too many times to use it as motivation to make huge changes. I am not the same person I was last week. I am not the same person I was this morning. In fact, I have changed in the last hour but one thing I know I am is a person ever changing for the better!
As most of you will notice, my last few posts have less to do with digital marketing and more to do with my person growth. I just wanted to drop you all a quick note to say this blog is undergoing changes. I will still talk about digital marketing but I also want to interject some temporary diary type thoughts into it.
If you would like to skip over these posts feel free. Its just that I decided I want to put my thoughts onto the page in order to better understand where I came from and where I want to go. So to go with the divergence, I have retitled the top page to say “Stephen Tompkins Writes About Anything but Mostly Digital Marketing.”
Also feel free to post any questions of thoughts you may have as I enter this new introspective phase of my life.
So on with the “anything!”
I am sitting in the Airport in Jacksonville waiting on my flight thinking this is a great time to post a blog. With so many ideas swirling around in my head, I figured I would stick with the theme of my last post because it made me feel really awesome to process to myself my feelings. In any event, I took a surprise trip down to Savannah (by way of Jax) to see my grandparents for the weekend and it was fabulous.
Most people who read this blog know that my Grandmother has been quite ill over the past year so anytime I get to see her is welcomed. This time was especially great due to recent developments of myself so, I spent quite a bit of time just sitting next to her.
Its amazing what you can learn from observing and taking an active interest in what others are doing and saying. In the past, I had learned to glaze over these all too important finds. It was just an easier way to shelter myself from life. But this weekend, I observed two things that will change me going forward.
These two very valuable components that I will continue to grow from were only possible because of my new attitude. Gone was the hang-ups of old and in was the listening to and discovering so much about my family I did not know. I spoke to Aunt about her trip Ethiopia and my Uncle about living in Beijing. It was great and I am so happy to feel liberated from the old chains I carried around.
And Nanny, I cannot wait to dance again over Christmas so polish off your dancing shoes!
Today marks the 27th anniversary of my father Stephen Malone Tompkins Sr. passing away. I remember vividly being told by my Stepmom in my bedroom at the time. My mind did not have any idea what it meant. I did not even know he was sick for the last year of his life or maybe I did and could not grasp it.
In many ways it seems so foreign to me now after all the things that have happen in those 27 years. A wonderful stepfather, great mother and loving brothers and sisters have all helped me to be who I am today. And, I try not to regret many things about the early years either but its hard to not regret ever being able to play catch or tell him about a new job. I guess in many ways I have lived with this part of my life missing.
Over the last year, a perfect storm of emotional events have set themselves upon me and brought all this to the surface where I have decided to sort it out once and for all within. Most of my life I have been living with all my feelings or emotions somewhere other than where they should be and its a real unhealthy way to live. I am not going to file them in the right spot to make my life more meaningful.
Being told at six year’s old that your father was no longer going to be in your life is an interesting thing. I think in many ways it resonated inside and wired my feelings to be hidden from the very start. I cannot recall the last time I told my Mom I love her. I am not even sure why I don’t but I believe it has to do with this early start. The good news is that its never too late to get them rewired. Mom - I love you!
The recent events in my life have caused me to reflect on my life and take a very long hard look at it. The above thoughts were never really on the surface until now. I am still not fully sure how to actualize the things I feel but I can guarantee I am well on my way to it. My life in many ways is just now beginning and I am going to take full advantage from here.
So look out world, you’re all mine. I am ready to listen to you and learn from everyone out there.
-Side Note-
I also wanted to say that I have a wonderful Step-Father who to me is the most amazing person I know and I do not want to take anything away from him. I actually feel like my real Father hand picked him from heaven to look after me. He is just amazing and I want to say thanks to him and my mother for everything they have done for me and this post is in no way a reflection on them.
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I just wanted to say a few words about this past week and how I learned about strength. On Saturday morning, my mother called me to tell me my grandmother had fallen and was rushed to the hospital unconscious. At that point, we did not know anything other than she was in a coma and had a subdural hematoma (I had no idea what it was but its bleeding in the membrane of her brain).
Having spent many of my formative years living with my Grandmother, I did not hesitate to get on the first plane to come down to Savannah and see her. I talk on the phone about every two or three nights to her and could not imagine life without her. I left at 6 PM and arrived at 9:30 PM Saturday. The surgery was successful and removed all the clots in her brain. The doctor told us he could not give any information about how or if ever she would awake from her vegetative state.
The next day I went to the hospital to see her. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. As I walked into the NICU, I could not imagine this person so close to me lay so helpless in her room. I broke down and started crying immediately.
Words can express many things but for me there are no words to express my feelings at that moment. I spoke to her briefly and said thank you for helping raise me to know the value of humility, humbleness and faith in your life. It took every bit of strength I had to tell her much I missed her and loved her and to keep fighting because I know she is stronger enough to come back. Tears in my eyes, I left the room thinking about her and life without her.
Today as I rode to the hospital, my sister called me to tell me that my grandmother had awaken from the coma. I could not fathom it at first but eventually it sunk in. It was the best news we could have gotten.
When I arrived at the hospital, I walked to the NICU and my spirit was lifted. I saw her open her eyes and glance at my sister and then glance at me. She looked so happy and thrilled to see us. It immediately made me think about how strong she is to come so far in such a short period of time. I said to her, “Hi Nanny, I missed you.” And she looked at me while raising her hand to wave. It is truly nothing short of a miracle that she has awakened so soon.
Strength comes in all shapes and sizes, but my Grandmother, showed me the most amazing feat of strength I have ever seen.
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